Snap. Crackle. Pop.

Hey Snappy McChewgum: keep your lips together whilst you freshen your breath, please. You may have developed the delightful habit of forming teeny air pockets in your gum-wad, then cr-ACKing those l'il pockets with your obviously well-exercised jaws, but I am not awe-struck, entertained, nor pleased to share your mouth-music (this also applies to public whistlers and hummmmmmers ...a subject for another post). While I am writhing in agony at my doctor's office, I do not need your poppin' to accompany my pain, o gracious receptionist. As I await the arrival of the C train on the hot and filthy 59th Street platform, do not add to the noise of the squealing brakes with your cracklin' habit, o manic commuter. And you, my DMV information-giver and sloth-like civil servant, please refrain from emphasizing your weary mantra with your cud-bubble.

I need to come up with a good response to gum-snappers. Any ideas? Comment below or email to mail.heyrude@gmail.com.

Please. I am begging you. I need relief from the gaping maws of rude folks.

-hmg

How Rude Is America? from the Today Show

I spoke of this the other day but this is a segment during the Kathie Lee and Hoda hour of the Today Show from this Past Friday. Enjoy!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Hold the Door

The other day I was on line at the Post Office. A man in a wheelchair asked another man if he could hold the door but the guy kept walking. The person in front of me got out of the line and went to help the man in the wheelchair. She says to the man to wait until she can move out of the way but the guy rammed over her feet instead. He apologized but she was hurt and even told me that one of her feet had been operated on just a few months before. I think the guy did not hear her. But the culprit in all of this is the man that just walked by instead of just opening a door for the man in the wheelchair. Rude cannot just hurt mentally, it can hurt physically.

-MRF

Rude is the New Black

So I happen to be home this morning, and have the TV on to the Today Show. It is the 10:00 hour with Kathie Lee and Hoda. They did a segment called How Rude Is America? That is so great! They had one of the correspondents dressed as a pregnant woman and she would drop her bags to see if people would help. Most would, but believe it or not, some did not help. There is rudeness everywhere. Keep sending us your stuff at mail.heyrude@gmail.com. Also, more webisodes will be coming this Fall! Thank you for your support and please tell your friends!

-MRF

Turn Down the Volume

What is it with these people that think that everyone wants to hear what they are listening to on the radio? This guy was one of those people. (Audio is a little low but you get the gist!)




-MRF

Get up, stand up....

Ladies and gentlemen - and yes, LADIES, this includes you; 

give up your seats for the oldsters, the infirm, the pregnant, the struggling-with-small-child-and/or-infant in arms. Get your lazy, tired, plump, skinny, young, middle-aged, perfectly healthy, but-I-was-here-first ass up and out of the seats, especially those marked "PLEASE GIVE THESE SEATS TO THE HANDICAPPED OR ELDERLY," you selfish, self-centered jerks.  

I once witnessed a bus-load of perfectly able-bodied folk ignore an elderly blind man with a cane as he struggled to find his way to the back and an available seat. We watched him walk INTO A METAL POLE before the righteously angry woman next to me finally had enough and yelled "YOU ALL OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOUR DAMN SELVES! WATCHING A BLIND MAN WALK BY AND NOT GIVING HIM YOUR SEAT!!! SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!!!"

Right on.

-hmg

This is why you don't throw your food wrappers onto the tracks

Please Put Out the Trash......Correctly!!!

So we have discussed this before on the site but really this is just ridiculous....maybe I am crazy...


















Enough said.


-MRF

Boiling Mad

Black, choking, soot-leaving, nasty, dirty smoke from badly maintained or ole-timey boilers are a part of city life.  A bad part. When I lived in Hell's Kitchen, our windowsills, curtains, and blinds were coated with the greasy black residue of a nearby chimney....and I can only imagine what we were inhaling. Of course, truck, bus, and car exhaust are constant and more serious offenders....but this awful boiler oil-smoke should be addressed by the Department of Buildings. And rarely is. Because the city agencies are understaffed and overwhelmed - and swimming in bureaucracy. And the beat goes on....

-hmg

Must've been a big butt. Or a hot butt.

A notice was posted in my building the other day:


-hmg

No Clipping in public!

Another great submission from our friend, Jennifer:

Jennifer says:

Woman is clipping her fingernails on the PATH. Not filing, clipping

(For those of you that do not live in the tri-state area, the Path is part of
New Jersey Transit)

-MRF

A Peeling

Yup, just go right ahead and eat your orange on the bus. Sure, it's fun to watch you eat it, and feel all the sticky mess that you leave behind. No, you don't need to clean up your mess - that's someone else's job! You just be on your merry way with your l'il ole self.  Thanks for the paper! 

Hold On With Your Hands-(aka someone's got a pole up his ass)

Another submission from our friend, Cindy:

Cindy says:
One of my biggest subway pet peeves -- people who lean against the pole. For one thing, it makes it impossible for anyone else to hold on. For a more disturbing other, I don't want to hold on there after you've wrapped you bum around it. Ick!!

Don't Be a Heel, Y'all

RH Tex wrote to us:

"Helene and Melissa, here's a thought:

Speaking as a woman, I feel that wearing heels in the subway during rush hour should be against the law.  Women wearing heels walk very slowly on stairs and cause anybody walking behind them to miss trains, as if the rest of the world walking behind them trying to get where they are going isn't as important as SHE is, in her heels. 

I don't care if the shoes are cute, fierce, or whatever adjective you want to describe. Don't wear them when hundreds of thousands of millions of people are trying to make their trains on the subway.  You own a pair of flat shoes.  Wear THOSE.  Because if you and your cute heels keep me from making my subway train, I will not hesitate to body check you and your fierce heels to the floor.  I don't like to resort to violence, but I know I'm not alone in my fury.

Oh, and also!  People with small children commuting on the subway during rush hour can find a better time for a 'teaching moment' or an 'experience' than holding their kid's hand while the kid walks up or down the stairs.  You wouldn't decide to teach your kid how to ride a bike with training wheels during the...oh, I don't know, the autobahn, now would you?  So why are you putting you and your child in harm's way during rush hour in a New York subway?  Kids are cute, we get it.  Pick another place and time to practice going up and down stairs with your child.

End of rant.  And keep on keepin' on.  Y'all do good work."

Thanks for submitting your thoughts, Tex!  We love it. 

Send your ideas, pictures, videos, and webisode ideas to mail.heyrude@gmail.com, y'all!

You Make the Call

So hey rude fan, Sarah, sent us this picture. Do you think it is rude or just inappropriate? (Maybe both?) Tell us what you think at mail.heyrude@gmail.com, our Facebook page or Twitter. 

Sarah wrote: "Midtown Manhattan roof plaza, lunch spot of corporate drones. These two 20-somethings decided it was the Cote d'Azur. I gawked and snorted. Then click went the shutter."

Urine Town

Okay, I sympathize with the taxi drivers' plight: lack of available public restrooms. They need to relieve themselves, and they use an empty bottle (sometimes). And that bottle rollllllls around on the floor of the cab, occasionally finding it's way to the back seat floor and gently nudging my foot with it's warmed plastic ridges. Delightful. So, I assume the cab driver thinks he is being conscientious when he (and yes, I assume it is always a he - I cannot fathom the female driver using a bottle) chucks the plastic-encased golden liquid out of the cab, and into the gutter. Why not the trash bin? This, I cannot answer. But it is a fairly regular sight on streets of NYC.   Enjoy.

-hmg

B.O. - Save us from yours

Dear Anyone who is in an enclosed space with others:

Body Odor, everyone has it. But do we all have to smell it? The answer is no we do not. If you are in an enclosed space via car, subway, train, room (you get the gist)- is it fair for others to smell your funk? Again I believe the answer is no. There is this thing called deodorant, if you do not know of it you can find it at your local drugstore, supermarket, etc. Please use it for the sake of others. Thank you and please save the whales.

-MRF

Do Not Block the Escalator

When you are on the escalator it is kind of an unspoken rule to move to the right. This is so that people who want to walk can pass without a problem. This couple did not understand that.



















-MRF

Jerky Boy

Dude has a couple of inches to his right he could slide over, and he could close his legs up two inches without squeezing his oh-so-massive manhood too uncomfortably. But no, he just lets the teeny lady stay in the pretzel position and looks on in a hostile manner. Ah, man's inhumanity to man. Or wo-man.

-hmg

Like, she's all "get your feet off the seat. Gross!" and I'm like, "what?"

From Sarah, a fan of Hey Rude:

"These were two late-teen girls talking loudly about their sexual conquests on the R train (with all the concomitant teenspeak BS). I wish I had caught the moment when her knee was bent and her shoe was actually ON the seat. Can I just say how liberating it was to whip out my cameraphone unapologetically? Thanks, heyrude!!!"

Thanks for the contribution! Keep 'em coming to mail.heyrude@gmail.com.

-hmg

Mom wants to blog

So Mom wanted to contribute to hey rude:

"Don't you just love it when you are talking to a sales person in Macy's and someone just walks up and asks, 'Where's the ladies room?' 'Do you have this in another color?' Like you are invisible or something."


Mom is always right.

-MRF

Pick up your Crap, literally....

Dear Dog and Potential Dog Owners-

Sidewalks are a community property. It is all of our jobs to keep them clean. If a person wants a pet they should have one. But if you do decide to take on the responsibility then you need to take it on fully. Let me put it this way: you must pick up the dog crap! Nobody wants to see it, ever. You are not allowed to just let your dog do his or her business anywhere they want and not pick it up. It is disgusting and really beyond rude. So just to prove the point look at the pictures below. Is that what you want to see on the ground that you have to walk on? I did not think so. Thank you for your support.

-MRF

Seats are for people

At times we put our stuff down on a seat next to us. It is not cool to keep it there. So please move it so someone else can rest their weary bones. Thank you and have a swell day.


-MRF

Recycling?

Recycling is important in our country. But I think putting it in some kind of bin is what is supposed to happen, not in a pile on train tracks. You be the judge.



-MRF

Tell Us Your Ideas

We are going to be filming some new webisodes soon and wanted to hear your ideas. So please e-mail us at mail.heyrude@gmail.com or tell us on our facebook page! And please tell your friends to come to see us everyday! Thank you for your support.

P.S. Also do not forget to send us your videos and pictures as well! We love rudeness from everywhere!!

-MRF

Move it or lose it!

So the picture is a little blurry but you get the gist. Is it really necessary to put your bikes against two perfectly good seats? Talk about rude, someone might need to sit down because of a bad hip or something. If you are going to bring your bikes on the subway, bus, or park it anywhere- make sure it does not block a seat. Thank you and have a nice day.

-MRF

Stop honking that horn around me!

Dear anyone that has a car-

Honking the horn on a car is supposed to be for an emergency situation. Maybe a car is about to cut you off and you need to honk so you do not get hit - that is the time you should honk. If people are trying to cross the street and not going fast enough for you, that is not a good reason to honk. Also, honking just because you are in a hurry and the traffic is not moving - because there is traffic - is another reason not to go crazy on the horn. So please, for the sanity of all of us, stop being so honk-crazy! Thank you and please spay and neuter your pets.

-MRF

No Go on the Jo-Bros

Okay, maybe his beef is not technically about rudeness, but we did ask him what drives him crazy - his "biggest pet peeve." And it cracked us up.

Plus, it's a nice break from mothers dragging their children around by neck leashes and such:

Stop draggin' my, stop draggin' my, stop draggin' my....

Yup. This is a video of a woman (her last name ends in "Means!") literally DRAGGING her motionless toddler by a leash. What would you do if you saw this?



Here's the story, via Liveleak.com and Huffington Post (thanks to author and journalist Jennifer Mascia for the heads up):

"Woman arrested on child cruelty charge
by Jeff Gable

An Alabama woman was arrested Tuesday afternoon after police say she injured a child while dragging it through a store in Rome.

According to Floyd County Jail records: Melissa Catherine Smith-Means, 37, of Gaylesville, Ala., was arrested by Rome police around 12:30 p.m. She was charged with felony first-degree cruelty to children.

Police say she was observed by customers and employees at a store on Broad Street, dragging a small child around by a backpack leash. The child had visible marks on the neck from the incident.

She remains in jail without bail."

-hmg

Living in Propinquity

This note is from my brother Nathan, in reference to his housemates. This is also why we dread the thought of having to share an apartment in these tough economic times...



-hmg

Things that should only be done in the privacy of one's own home. Or preferably not at all.

People do gross things. This why we need to wash our hands well, and often.

Make yourself at home!

I don't know...maybe it's just us, but what in tarnation makes someone think THIS is an okay thing to do? I mean, maybe if you are completely alone in the movie theater and you have the gout, this might be marginally acceptable.

Nope, nope... still rude. And believe it or not, this happened at an invited screening with film and tv professionals and everything! Just goes to show ya; self-centered, jerky behavior is alive and well and putting it's poopy shoes in your hair.

-hmg